"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> hole in the wall
Thursday, July 10, 2003
i almost feel pity for my staff. being editor-in-chief of our campus paper has certainly borne down on me. i'm not getting any work done. and it's not that there's too much piled up, though there's a lot piled up. i just can't get on to doing them.

i'm tired of it. it wasn't a result of being too pressured or stressed out. there just wasn't that much drive in me to do it in the first place. granted, i was full of enthusiasm when i had been appointed and given the job. the freedom and privilege, and financial backing, to print tangible material under my design and supervision was absolutely great. to say i got full scholarship out of it was just a bonus, though a huge one. but those early sparks have died down, and now i'm just stuck with a burden that i can't delegate to another.

i know i haven't heard anyone in the group say that i don't deserve being Chief, or that it's thoroughly unfair that i get free tuition along with the right to boss them around. they'd be more than right.

i gotta find me something to push myself once more, to ignite in me the drive to work, and make things happen. i've been lacking in interest at doing practically anything for months now, and i havta find fuel soon, else i'll be going nowhere. i shouldn't just be sitting round here in the house bum squat on my chair surfing and taking occasional trips to the fridge to get coffee crumble ice cream or chocolate kisses--

mmm. ice cream. gonna get me some.

SONG: Audioslave - Gasoline